WHEN THINGS GO DIFFERENT THAN EXPECTED

Guess I'm still not done playing around with my backgrounds LOL. That's my playful side. The next is my helpful side.
This second stress relieving post in December is to give you some suggestions to make life and relationships easier on you. The first one was about boundaries and coming home in the holidays (a few posts down). This is one about perceptions and reality.

In the candlelight of upcoming Christmas events and "good will towards men", as well as the week later when many make New Year's resolutions, our glasses may tend to be rosy colored and our motive to do our best may be very genuine. But what are your expectations?

Before we moved to a new downsized house this year, our TV broke down, so we decided that we would buy a new one after we would sell our old house. To our big relief exactly a week before Thanksgiving escrow closed. Yay!
We had not watched TV for half a year, so when we watched one of the reality shows where the house is remodeled, it inspired me to this post.

This couple knew what they wanted, but had never  remodeled a whole room. They thought that they could build a new bathroom over the weekend, without any help.
It started to rain, it got freezing cold, the kids got sick and after the weekend and 5 days into the next week the husband finally finished the sub floor. Everything else, like changing the plumbing, putting in a shower, bathtub, sinks, cabinets, lights, etc. still needed to be done!
When one wants something to happen, there is more needed than expectation that it wil happen! It is called reality!

To help you gauge your own development on expectations which may llead to stress I devised a few questions to ask yourself. I made this one for the specific purpose of this post/article. You may print this out for you or a friend, as long as you include the copyright -thank you!

                          EXPECTATIONS  QUESTIONNAIRE

COPYRIGHT: ©Jeannette St Germain

Instruction: circle the one that is true for you at this moment
Never=1 point  Sometime=2 points   Half of the time=3 points   
Frequent =4 points   Always=5 points


1.    When I start on a project, I always seem to run out of time, 
       and can't make the deadline.
Never     sometimes     half of the time     frequent     always 

2.    If I want to buy someone a present, I just buy it on credit and 
       don't give myself a time line to pay it off.
Never    sometimes   half of the time   frequent   always

3.    If things do not work out like expected, I move heaven and earth 
       to get the result I want.
Never   sometimes   half of the time   frequent   always

4.    I think "it;s time for dad, mom... (fill in person in question) 
       to grow up. You'll see, he/she  won't forget me this Christmas.
Never   sometimes   half of the time   frequent   always

5.    I can stop drinking (whatever you like to do) whenever I want to - 
       it's just a matter of putting my mind to it.
Never   sometime   half of the time   frequent   always

6.    I don't need any help. I just don't like to be obligated to people.
Never   sometime   half of the time   frequent   always

7.    My children will care for me in my old age. That's where
       I'm counting on.
Never   sometime   half of the time   frequent   always

8.    I don't like plans - its' so forced. I don't keep an appointment 
       book either. I like life as it comes.
Never   sometime   half of the time   frequent   always

9.    I don't have time for new appointments or friends. 
       I'm booked solid for 4 months straight.
Never   sometime   half of the time   frequent   always

10. You say to your sister/brother/coworker, "Since you don't have 
       anything planned, and I have another party to go to after this one, 
       why don't you clean up here afterward?"
COPYRIGHT: ©Jeannette St Germain

Never=1 point  Sometime=2 points   Half of the time=3 points   
Frequent =4 points   Always=5 points


With 3 points or more: 
start working on your expectations to be more reality based.
With 5 points or more : 
please look at the items with the highest number of points, and start working on these areas. It helps when your family and friends work in this together. In other words, it may not be you who has unrealistic expectations, but your friends, coworkers or people you are closely connected to.COPYRIGHT: ©Jeannette St Germain

How did you do? The holidays are a great opportunity to see how your expectations turn out! The comments have been very helpful!! It  all depends on how have have learned to cope with stress in our life, how we will react to unrealistic expectations. It is an interplay between you, environmental situations, others, organization, and time. So, if expectations are unrealistic, it may not be your fault at all!

Curious where or what you may set yourself or others up to, regarding the areas to which the questionnaire points to? To make this post not too long , I'll post them in a day or so.